We spend so much of our time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, and yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.
1. Take a realistic evaluation of yourself. Be honest with yourself about how valuable you believe you are as a person. The way you see yourself and treat yourself is the very way others will see you and treat you. Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy of the gift of love? More importantly, do you treat yourself lovingly and as a valuable being? It’s ok to be truthful with yourself, it may not be pretty! Awareness is the first and more powerful step on the path to change!
2. Forgive yourself if you ever believe you aren’t worthy of love. After all, there were probably things in your childhood or previous years that created that belief for you. It simply isn’t true; every being on this planet is worthy of love, after all, love is what we are here for, it’s what it’s all about. Say to yourself now; “I forgive myself for believing that I was not worthy of love.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself, look yourself right in the eyes and say it like you mean it. Go on, I’ll wait.
3. Post this affirmation up someplace where you will see it each and every day; “I have the courage to believe that I am worthy of love.” Read it out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice it. Sticky notes are fabulous for affirmations.
4. Take action and make those words real. Begin loving and valuing yourself. It is said that you cannot give away what you do not have. So, if you are not able to love and accept yourself unconditionally, how in the world are you going to love and accept anyone else unconditionally? Much less accept that love in return from them?
5. Remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice! Make the choice to love yourself. After all, who deserves it more? The more loving you are to yourself, the more loving you will be able to be to everyone around you. Family and friends will especially benefit from this. Make a choice to come from a place of love for yourself and for everyone who is important in your life.
6. Think about what you need to fill that emptiness inside, that place that is longing for love. What specifically do you need? Find the answer and then give it to yourself. No one is more capable of loving you, and giving you exactly what you need than you are! When you learn how to fulfill yourself in that way, you stop searching for it outside of yourself and you suddenly begin attracting it to you! You change yourself from a sponge to a magnet! People see you radiating self love and they are drawn to you!
7. Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down your good experiences allow yourself to feel those good feelings again. When you remember the bad experiences, allow yourself to feel pride. Pride because you faced a challenge in your life and you are here today to write about it, which must mean you are a survivor and a fighter. Tell yourself, “I know pain, but I’ve yet to be introduced to surrender.” Keep on keeping on.
• Here’s something to try saying every day. Place it on your mirror. It always helps: “Look in the mirror and what do I see? A beautiful boy/girl staring back at me!” “Oh wow!” I thought. Who could that be? [smile and say] “Oh! It’s most definitely me!”
• Keep a list of the things you love about your self or things you’ve done that if you saw someone else do them, you would love them. For instance, if you scored more in basketball, write it down, then eventually you can build up more pros, to help you know why to love yourself (if you’re analytical)
• Practice Metta meditation. It will help you love yourself and others more.
• Do what you enjoy. If that is do go out anywhere, or with anyone. Make yourself happy.
• Every time you feel a negative emotion, pause and feel it, then thank yourself for feeling it. Emotions are nothing more than an experience which contributes to who we are. Accepting negative things as good things in another perspective can yield great results.